Thursday, March 24, 2016

#ROTD: Sinks Suck

Allison aka AA who I have a pretty big crush on, does these Rant Of The Day posts every once and a while and I thought, I'm real good at complaining too! So now I'm going to rant.

This has really been building up for a while so let's refrain from the "Adriana, calm the hell down, you maniac. Get over it." comments because I know SOMEONE is with me on this.

Public bathrooms. AMIRIGHT? Ok enough of my not funny fake standup routine. But everyone has feelings about public bathrooms. There are the people who refuse to use them, the people who get off on it, and everyone in between. Just for reference, I'm in the "in between" category.

I've probably used bathrooms that were a leeeeetle too sketchy for someone of sound mind but I was drunk and there was nothing else to do but pee my pants. And that would have caused chaffing.

My issue with public bathrooms isn't about the grime, vandalism, lack of 2 ply toilet paper or even the possibility that there will be a glory hole somewhere. Because my issue isn't public bathroom exclusive. It could strike anywhere, at any time!

I  H A T E  faucets that are too close to the back of the sink.

I have small hands. Not like baby hands but as a reference my ring size is a 3. (and if you're a guy and have no concept of what that means, the average is a 6 and if that means nothing that I can't help you) and if I can't fit both my hands under the running water without hitting the back of the sink, I lose my ever loving mind.


via GIPHY

HOW ARE YOU EVEN SURE YOU'RE CLEAN!?
I don't know if the soap got everywhere. What if all the soap doesn't get off and it dries out my hands?

WHAT WOULD JOANNA GAINES THINK!?
That woman has more love for farmhouse sinks than I have for my family. She knows what's up though, you can't do shit in a shallow sink that has a faucet that barely dribbles over the back of the sink.

Why would you pick that faucet? WHO EVEN MAKES THOSE? Kohler? That's the only faucet-maker I can think of. But I feel like they're classy and should know better.

I seriously think about hulking out and ripping the faucet out of the counter when I encounter (HA encounter) this scenario. But then I realize, if anyone comes in I'll likely be arrested, or at least embarrassed. Or, I actually manage to rip the faucet out and then I'm still screwed.



4 comments:

  1. Haha love it (and thanks for the shoutout!). My beef with public bathrooms (aside from the gross factor) is everything being motion-sensored. And I get it, I do. It's more sanitary than touching every gross thing in there, except, none of it ever works. The toilet is supposed to auto-flush and it doesn't. The water is supposed to come out of the sink when it senses your hands and it doesn't -- same with the soap. Then those air dryers? Nope, they don't always work either and here I am, waving my hands like a maniac underneath the sensor to get things to happen & they almost never do on the first try. UGHHHH.

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  2. I feel like going Office Space on the sinks in the bathroom at work. They play with you - only letting water out sometimes, or spraying the crap out of you with water. Don't get me started on the auto soap or the auto paper towel holder that are totally un-auto when they choose to be.

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  3. oh my gosh your fingers are tiny! my fingers are huge.
    i try to avoid public bathrooms, unless of course, i am drunk. but i have been in some super gross, sketchy, awful bathrooms when sober and it just makes me question how the f*ck adult women can be so disgusting.
    i hate when the pressure of the tap sucks, like i want to wash my freaking hands, not walk out of here with soap still on my hands. also, i like paper towels, not dryers. also, the tap/sink thing is also annoying and i have extremely large hands, so basically they are always too small/close to the back for my hulk hands.

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  4. I'm surprised bidets didn't make an appearance here or sinks that try to be clever and put rocks over the drain to shield our virginal eyes from funky build up. I tried that and Damian shot me down, apparently he likes watching his toothpaste build up.

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love and videos of baby goats in pajamas appreciated