Friday, March 11, 2016

Why We Always Deadbolt Our Door

So let me give you some background:

We have a dog. Her name is Lily. She is completely mental.

She recently learned how to open our bedroom and bathroom door in our apartment. They had handles rather than knobs. So we had the management company switch them (and since they're incredible, they did). So now it's annoying but at least she doesn't go and eat/shred all the things we own.

When she was a baby and we didn't yet know she was a nutcase.
Although this face should have given it away.

This past Sunday we were taking Lil to my grandmother's house to meet her new puppy and run around for the afternoon. We got into the elevator and she proceeded to flood it with pee. By the way she's 4 and absolutely house broken. I mean, I suppose "absolutely" is a strong word in this scenario. But she was pumped to go over and play and we took too long before taking her out.

Either way - that straight up sucks. So Tom brought her back to the apartment and came back with paper towels and cleaner. All of a sudden, Lil is next to Tom.

Here's how the conversation went:


Tom: I don't know! She got out, I'll bring her back and make sure the door's locked.


Tom goes back to the apartment with Lil. He comes back a couple minutes later.

Me: still cleaning up the elevator Can you help maybe?!

Tom: Ok! What do you wa- oh shit.

Lil is running down the hall towards us

Collectively: We're screwed.

So now,  Lily can open the front door to our apartment. We have a deadbolt but the door locks automatically so we've never used it. And now, if we don't remember to use it, she will get out and maul someone.

Obviously she still made it to my grandma's and had a phenomenal time.

I've never seen Marley and Me because I would cry forever and hug Lil and never let her go which would annoy the ever living crap out of her and no one needs that but I imagine Marley and Lily would have been, just the best of friends.

Also I would like to point out that although I sound like a completely jerk in this story, I was merely trying to be accurate to the events and I'd like to see how you would handle cleaning up a solid inch of dog urine in the public elevator of your apartment building.


  1. OMG I kind of wish I didn't read this now because I'm starting to get crazy thoughts that my dog could do this too, because she's been quite the escape artist. Unlocking and opening the front door?! That's just insane!!

  2. Oh my gosh that is so funny! Insane but funny! Good luck! We have to deadbolt our doors too but its because we have a crazy almost 2 year old little girl who will let our wacked out 6 year old puppy!


love and videos of baby goats in pajamas appreciated